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It’s at that moment you see that attractive man/woman and you would like to strike up a conversation with them that something happens to you.

The pit of your stomach begins to twist and tighten into an unbearable knot, your palms instantly become sweaty, and your mind starts racing a thousand miles an hour.

And this is typically when you begin to think negative thoughts such as; “They are not going to like me” “I’m going to embarrass myself” “What if I say something stupid.” It’s at that moment you realize fear, with its mighty grip, has grabbed you.

But, fear of what? The mighty fear of REJECTION!

How do you overcome this paralyzing fear? There are a couple of things here you need to look in order to overcome the fear of rejection.

First you need to understand what fear is. Fear is F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real.

We can only fear what we haven’t encountered. We can’t fear the past, because it has already happened. We can’t fear the present, because we are living in it now, and it isn’t so scary. We can only fear the future. And, most of the time what we fear will happen, never happens.

We get ourselves all worked up and stressed out over something that never even takes place. Seems silly doesn’t it?

Second thing you need to look at is what is rejection? Rejection in its simplest form is only an experience.

And an experience is what we label it. A great experience is only great because we label it great. A bad experience is only bad because we label it bad.

Now, why do we label an experience good, bad, excitement, rejection and so forth? It is due to what we have reinforced the experience with.

A good experience is just that because you have reinforced that thought with supporting thoughts, ideas, and opinions until it became a belief. A belief is only a thought that was reinforced.

An experience is only good or bad or fun or rejection, because of the thoughts we reinforce it with. So with that being said, we can make any experience extremely easy to have or extremely difficult to have by what we believe creates it.

Third, and final step is you have to re-label what rejection is. Too many people believe rejection is a simple “no” and get their feelings hurt and then wallow in self-pity.

If salesmen believed the first “no” was rejection there would be no salesmen left to sell.

You have to change what you believe “rejection” is.

You have to make it more difficult to be rejected. Tell yourself that in order to feel rejected someone has to be rude and in your face and tell you they do not like who you are as a person, they do not like what you believe in or what you stand for.

They have to tell you that you are the most grotesque person they have ever seen or could even imagine.

Do you get where I am going with this? Make it extremely difficult to feel rejected.

Also keep in mind there are many reasons people will throw a simple rejection out there:

  • they might not know enough about you yet

  • they just got out of a relationship

  • they are in a relationship

  • they are having a girls/guys night out and made a vow not to take anyone home

  • they do not want to appear too easy

  • the list goes on and on

So, do not feel wounded when you hear the word “no” and think you were rejected. Make feeling rejected extremely difficult. You could even make it impossible. You are ultimately in control of your emotions and feelings, no one else. Hope this helps.

You are Stronger Than Failure,

Danny Cole

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